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This is gonna be a long one……

Where do I start….?

First of all, I have quit caffeine.  Now, anyone who knows me knows that this is a big thing – I drink a lot of tea!  I’m now drinking Rebush tea instead.  At first, I thought it was a bit ugh as it smells slightly  funky, but once I’d gotten used to that; it was OK.

Due to caffeine withdrawal; I had a chronic headache for the first four days and it was about three days before I’d adjusted to the taste and looked forward to drinking my first cuppa of the day!

Because Redbush is drunk black (although you can have it with milk); I’ve also cut out 99% of my dairy intake now too.

Now I’m in the process of eliminating sweeteners.

This is all in an effort to stop my skin itching so much!

I’ve also had a Redbush tea bath this week – this is apparently good for your skin.  Place about five tea bags in a pot (I used a large jug as I don’t have a teapot) and make a pot of strong tea, then just add to your bathwater.

I had a nice long soak and even swished my locs about in it – it made them feel REALLY soft!

I’ve also started using DoubleBase gel after Claire sent me a little bottle to test.

Now, I don’t know if it’s a combination of all these efforts, or just one of them; but I am seeing some improvements and the itching has definitely lessened!

I’ll keep you updated.

~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of weeks ago, I won £100 at bingo. I thought ‘Awesome! That will pay for Alex’s birthday present!’

I left the envelope in my bag in preparation to spend it just over a week later.

The following week, on the Wednesday, my mother gave me £35 grocery money she owed me.

I placed it in my purse.

The next day, Alex asked me if he could have £1. I picked up my purse and discovered the £35 had gone.

Now, I know what my memory is like – totally hopeless – but Alex and I searched my pockets, through my purse (which is rather TARDIS like), my room and my bag, but we couldn’t find it.

So, the only logical conclusion is that the money has been stolen.

I went to the loo and asked Alex to check the bingo envelope – there was £20 missing from that too!

In the space of five days, £20 had gone from bingo envelope and a further £35 gone overnight!

Kyle is currently staying next door with my mother and has his own money, Matt had been at Vicky’s that week and he has more money than God.

The only people who have had access to it are Alex, Jess and myself.

I’m pretty sure Alex isn’t stupid enough to ask for £1 within 12 hours of stealing £35, besides he doesn’t go anywhere and doesn’t need that kind of money – if he wants something, he asks.  If I say no, I explain why and that I usually can’t afford it ‘right now’. He accepts that.

Unfortunately, Jess has a history of stealing from the family – she’s had money off all of us in the past, but due to at least five people living here at any one time; it’s been difficult to prove.

I KNOW she was in my bag that morning – she used my makeup and she is the only person to have been anywhere near my bag unsupervised.

I confronted her and she flat out denied any knowledge.

I sat and pondered what to do, I discussed it on Facebook and twitter – some people said to punish them both (which isn’t fair and I wasn’t willing to do), others said confront her again, search their rooms and so on.

I went up to her room and asked her friends (who she was laughing and joking with) to leave. I then calmly asked her again if she had taken the money.

She said no, then admitted she had taken some money out of my purse a week or two ago.

I was absolutely livid and I grounded her – I told her the length of time was unspecified, but that usually means around two weeks.

She bitched and moaned as it meant she had to cancel her birthday party she was going to have in Ryde, then she complained all over Facebook that I had grounded her for something she hadn’t done.

I reiterated that she was grounded for the money she had taken – for admitting she was a thief! But she kept on complaining.

Then her boyfriend got in on the act and start hassling me via Facebook, asking me to please let him come and visit her and stating that it was mean of me to ground her on her birthday.

I was getting messages morning and night, eventually I lost patience and told him to leave me alone, the next day I told her to tell him to leave me alone.

It all came to a head the day before she turned 17, I got this long message from the boyfriend stating that she could leave the next day if that’s what she wanted and that I couldn’t stop her – he obviously told her this too as she started raving that she was going to leave home.

Then Alex and Vicky got in on this, they had a right go at the boyfriend asking him who the hell he thought he was for judging me and undermining my parenting and then we went to her room where she had been sulking for the past week.

I told Jess that if this had been out in the world, she would have been put in prison as she has a history and that she certainly wouldn’t have had her phone and laptop. I said she had gotten off lightly and that if she had just put her head down and got on with it, she would have only been grounded for two weeks or so.

I asked her if she’d preferred I’d been the kind of parent that kids are afraid of, she said no. I lost it then and asked her what I should’ve done then as I was obviously doing it all wrong and I burst into tears.

She said she was going to the boyfriends for a week, I asked what the point of that was as she still had to come back, but she said she was still going and that I couldn’t stop her.

I left the room at that point.

I spent most of the night crying and dreading the following morning – it was supposed to be a celebration, her 17th birthday; but I felt it was going to be awful!

At 4am, I got up to go to the loo and blow my nose. I stumbled upstairs, did what I had to do and came back down.

I’m not really sure what happened next – I THOUGHT I was on the bottom and I went to step around the banister to go into my room.

I was still 3 stairs up from the bottom!

So gravity did it’s thing and I started to fall, I grabbed the bottom of the banister (is it the balustrade?), my feet lifted up off the stair as I swung around the banister like a pro pole dancer!  I swung all the way around into the hallway, parallel to the floor and then let go.

The pain was indescribable! I actually thought I’d broken my wrist at first! Once I could move, I got back into bed and cried myself to sleep.

When I woke the next morning, I thought she had left without even saying goodbye and I was devastated.  Thankfully, she hadn’t.

She came down and the first thing she said to me was “Sorry.” and I said “but it’s not going to stop you leaving, is it?”

Again she said she was only going for a week, I said that I really didn’t see the point as she’d still have to come back and that her leaving was sticking two fingers up to my rules.

She hugged me and told me she loved me…….and she left.

I’ve had a few texts from her, but I’ve had to initiate contact. I’ve seen her once, but that’s only because we had an appointment with her tutor at the college – if we hadn’t had that; I wouldn’t have seen her.

We have since found Vicky’s t-shirt and Matt’s straightening irons in her room.

I’m devastated that this has happened.

There will be strict rules when she comes back and if she can’t adhere to them, then I can’t have her here.

The boyfriend is not welcome here, I have blocked him on Facebook and I have also reported him to Facebook for harrassment – I doubt they’ll do anything.

I am in a lot of pain, my left shoulder and the centre of my back are still hurting a week after the fall, thankfully, all the other niggly pains are gone. But I can’t stand for more than a couple of minutes, I can’t sit how I normally do as it all causes me back to burn in agony.

The doctor says it’ll all heal eventually – I feel crap as I’m fighting off a fluey cold my mother has had since Christmas!

I was hoping to get my tattoo finished this week, but the psoriasis has gone ballistic and the poor tattoo is covered in patchy red skin; I look like I’ve been scalded!

It’s been a really crap couple of weeks really :(

2 comments to This is gonna be a long one……

  • Mush Brain

    Really hope the Doublebase helps. Psoriasis is such a tricky thing to treat.
    You are such a great Mum to those lovely kids. They all have a really
    good relatioship with you. I hope Jess is just going through a phase and will
    get over it soon. Could well be the new boyfriend’s influence on her and
    I hope, a week staying at his house under his Mum’s rules will help her to
    see sense.
    Stay safe on those stairs girly! No more pole dancing!!xx

  • You are a fabulous mum and they are lucky to have you there for them. You absolutely did the right thing and your daughter realises this I am sure. The skin could be a flareup with the stress as well?
    don’t you think you have enough hobbies and interests without taking up pole dancing? (VBG)
    hugs

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